I thought it would be easy

When we bought this house we bought some of the previous owners furniture, including the furniture in the master bedroom. Since we previously had a queen size bed and the one in the house was a king we asked if we could also have the mattress. That way we didn't have to run out and buy a mattress and box spring the minute we got here.

After three months sleeping on an uncomfortable bed we had had enough. I set out yesterday to change all that. First of course I shopped online, cause anybody with rugrats knows you can actually think when you shop online. I quickly dismissed the online idea when I realized we'd be dealing with a truck driver to deliver the thing. I am not a fan of truck driver delivery guys. Every one I've ever dealt with has had poor hygiene and an even worse attitude.

So, I loaded up the youngin's and headed to Piqua, OH. Good times let me tell you. I stopped in a bedroom store and luckily had a friendly and helpful sales guy, big plus in my book, who didn't mind that my kids were climbing on everything. As I was test laying I noticed some burly guys loading a truck. I inquired about delivery and sales guy said if you choose one I may be able to work you in as the last delivery today. And then the angels starting singing and the skies parted and a ray of sunlight shown... anyway, I picked a bed (Stearns and Foster if you care) and paid the nice man and went home to strip the old one and clean all the panties off the floor. (the girls panties, not mine, they apparently need to change them every 45 minutes and throw them everywhere, at least it's not poop on the wall)

The delivery guys came and I showed them where they had to go. This was the hard part. When they saw our staircase one of them shook his head and the other guy had a "I'm a gonna make this here mattress go up them there stairs" kinda look. First they took off the railing. Then they tested the outside stairs up to the landing to make sure they were sturdy. Then they grabbed the old mattress and started shoving. This was not good. In order to make the mattress go down the stairs they would have to fold it in half, or take the roof off. Of course that meant folding my brand new mattress in half to get it in.

That will be enough of that boys. What other options do we have?

So "shakes head guy" was still shaking his head. I could see in his eyes that, "you're screwed lady" look. But the other guy starts walking around and assessing other options. Options that kind of terrify me but he seems completely ok with.

Option 1. Take the railing off of our second floor balcony, get the mattress on top of the truck, back the truck up to the balcony, heave the mattress to awaiting men on balcony, then heave it through the office to the master bedroom

Option 2. Get the mattress on top of the truck, take out a window in the master bedroom, back the truck up to the front porch, heave mattress onto porch roof, heave mattress through window into master bedroom.

Option 3. Change our names to Lucy and Ricky and go the twin bed route.

Tonight at 6 we'll hopefully have a comfy new bed to sleep on and no one will have gone to the emergency room. Stay tuned...