A lesson in pronunciation

according to my children...

apricot = africot
that's why = thatwise
McDonalds = Old McDonalds
Cracker Barrel = Wheel Barrel
Raspberry = Rozberry (Lily)
Grandma and Grandpa = Grampa and Grampa (Ava)
Something = someking (Ava)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

or something.

Every once in awhile I go through a spurt where I am completely uninterested in the computer and all things Internet. Of course I still check my email but everything else just gets to be too much.

The weather has been beautiful and we've been outside for the better part of the day, every day for weeks. The inside of my house is low on the totem pole of stuff that's important to me right now. We completed two rooms (1/2 bath, foyer) and almost completed the dining room, now we have switched our focus to the yard.

I had 4yds of dirt delivered and regraded the backyard/side yard, and fixed a downspout issue while Jer was in TX a few weeks ago. We put in two new flower beds and edged them with brick. We had one and a half tons of flag stone delivered last week for our new patio. A neighbor offered to give us her pergola for free if we would take it down for her, so now we are working on digging the holes for that and reassembling it over the patio area. When that is up we'll lay all the stone.

I have been planting peonies, astilbe, gladiolus bulbs, dahlias, re blooming day lilies, freesia, and pink bleeding hearts. I started the spinach (which is doing nicely), and the lettuce tape (which isn't doing shit). The veggies and plants I've started from seed are doing nicely and are almost ready to transplant. I chopped out three shrubs that my neighbor and her husband have been trying to kill for years, and as payment got some plants that had grown amongst the chaos.

I need to go to Joanns and get fabric to make a cushion for the side porch swing. I also need to buy the dwarf blueberry bushes I've had my eye on since January.

So much to do, so much to do....

Advertising works

My kids watch TV and I like it. Summon a policeman.

Their favorite channel is Sprout and 99% of their TV watching is that channel. Unfortunately, unlike The Disney Channel or PBS, Sprout has commercials. Most of those commercials are those infomercial product things, like The Snuggie. I knew it was becoming a problem around Christmas when we were making out Christmas lists and they both wanted The Touch and Brush on their list. It's an automatic toothpaste dispenser. I probably would have wanted one of those too at their age. Needless to say Santa didn't deliver.

Yesterday as I was cleaning the bathroom Ava came in to use the facilities. She asked what I was doing and I explained myself. She looked at me with a very serious face and proceeded to tell me that steam was the best way to clean. After a small discussion about the wonders of advertising she went back to playing Barbies, probably still thinking that steam is the best way to clean.

And me? Yeah, I just finished placing an order for two Pillow Pets. So there.

It's a pillow, and a pet. It's a pillow pet!

Bring on the commercials, I'll get my wallet.

Escape Artist Hound

We were in WI for the last week due to a death in the family. Marty spent that time at the kennel.

Jer went to pick him up when we got home on Sunday and relayed the following story.

Jer- So I walked into the little office thing and nobody was there so I flipped the light switch om the wall to let them know I was waiting. I was starting to get pissed cause I had been waiting for almost five minutes and then I hear clickety clickety click coming down the hallway. I turned and here comes the hound walking from the back room, alone. He freaks out and attacks me as per usual. Nobody comes, it's just him. So I start thinking what the hell, are there cameras in here or something that they knew to let him out?

A minute later the lady comes out and takes Marty by the collar all exasperated saying "Oh you dog, come on, back in you go" and takes Marty back into the kennels. She then comes back into the office and asks me who I'm picking up. When I tell her Marty she laughs and says that he has been escaping. Somehow he gets through two gates with latches and nobody knows how he does it.

I guess nobody can keep this hound down. Maybe that bionic back is the secret. I think it has more to do with his bionic nose. After all his nose has a record. He has already broken two toilet tanks with it. It's a nose to be reckoned with, don't take it lightly. I'm pretty sure he could break your leg with that thing if you pushed him far enough. Don't let the ears fool you, he's dangerous.

Funnies

Ok, more blogs and sites. This is my list of everyday funnies. When you're home all day with four year olds you need a little dose of funny to counteract the rainbows and unicorns. Please add to the list.

http://verydemotivational.com/

http://wedinator.com/

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

http://kazooisms.blogspot.com/

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

http://failblog.org/

Just sayin'

You know how wonderful it is to find a great new website or blog? Maybe it's just me but when I find something new I immediately read everything on it.

I was introduced to this blog yesterday http://knockoffwood.blogspot.com/2010/01/plans-recycling-center-pottery-barn.html and I now have a list a mile long of all the cool shit I could build, or rather, have my husband build, on the cheap.

This is another one of my favorites. http://www.ourvictorianhouse.com/index.htm The before and after gallery just kills me.

I don't even know.

Yesterday I was online window shopping at Victoria's Secret and checking out their new swim wear and shoes (lots of their styles go up to size 11, I'm guessing for the cross dressing crowd). Anyway, I think I may try one of their long torso tankini's.

Then I looked at the bikinis. Why, you ask? Because at one point in my life before children, before infertility drugs, and before the birth control pill I could have worn every single one of them and looked HOT. And I was bored. SO I found some super cute ones that I would have bought back in the day for my former stick figure self.

Like this one

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=GJ-252097&page=1&cgname=OSSWMBIKZZZ&rfnbr=1232

And this one

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=GJ-252113&page=1&cgname=OSSWMBIKZZZ&rfnbr=1232

But then they got scary.

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=GJ-254672&page=1&cgname=OSSWMMWLZZZ&rfnbr=5790

And then I just couldn't comprehend them anymore.

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=GJ-258344&page=1&cgname=OSSWMMWLZZZ&rfnbr=5790

That last one is a topless bikini. Why? Why would you do that to yourself? It's not flattering, even to the stick figure model. And yet you know that some girl with giant boobs is going to buy that, wear it on spring break, and be in video. Honestly, if you want to show off the ladies just take your shirt off. There is no need to buy a topless bikini for $68.

Am I old? Does this make me not cool?